currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
