You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
