I'm gonna have a badass scar
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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