Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
