but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
