so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
