Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
