She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
