I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
