After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have aggressive nipples.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
