My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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