WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
