Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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