she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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