I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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