What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
