Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
