That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
