and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
