She just used a chaser for red wine.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
