So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
