I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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