i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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