Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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