Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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