Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
