spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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