there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
