I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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