You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
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