I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
