I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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