I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
