I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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