Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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