It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
