The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
