He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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