Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
