I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
