so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
