just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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