Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
