My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
