Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
