Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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