Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
