oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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