some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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