You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
