You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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