it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
