I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
